The 2023 Guide to Children’s Books for Telling About Donor Conception
We believe it is best to talk to your child about their donor conception as soon as possible (see our blog on this topic). It doesn’t matter if your child doesn’t fully comprehend what you are saying – their understanding will develop over time. By starting early there are dual benefits - you are practicing your narrative and there will never be a big reveal moment in their life.
One of the easiest ways to broach the topic for the first time is to read a children’s book. This helps you to find the right words. In this blog we include our favourites. We include:
- The best children’s books to explain donor egg
- The best children’s books to explain donor sperm
- The best children’s books to explain donor embryo
- The best children’s books to explain surrogacy
- A fabulous book to explain DNA to your child
Hopefully you won’t be the least bit surprised that we have included our books at the top of each list – we genuinely believe that, because you start with a default story but can edit every word, The Magic of You is a fabulous way to help you begin the conversation with your child about their donor conception.
We don’t expect you to pick just one book on this topic. How many books are in your child’s bookshelf about dinosaurs, unicorns, tractors or fairies? Considering the relative importance of the subject matter, you might want to buy at least a couple of books to help explain how they came to be.
It is important to note that reading a book is just the start. We suggest you read books on the topic to your child periodically when they are very little. Also, weave mentions of the donor into ordinary day-to-day conversations. Our advice is try not to make them feel different to other children – an overemphasis on how special they are might bring later pressures to be extraordinary. Approach the topic in a relaxed and ordinary fashion. Whilst the facts of their donor conception might be an enormous deal in your life, it won’t be in theirs, certainly when they are very little.
We are very excited to have recently come across a marvellous book that helps you start talking to your child about DNA, included below.
Here we look at books for children aged seven or less as we believe this topic is best addressed when your child is very young. So, let’s kick off with our recommendations . . . our favourite books are those where there is a variation for all family types i.e. donor conception books for single Mum, single Dad, traditional families, gay moms or gay dads.
Best children’s books for talking about egg donor
This is our top choice for single dads, gay dads, single mums and mum and dad families for telling your child about an egg donor. You make your child’s own book, adding your photos, and changing the words so it is 100% your family story. Children love their books all about how they came to be and how much they are loved. Their book becomes a keepsake that they will always hold dear. You can take as much or as little time editing your book as you like. True artists move around the clipart, adding photos throughout and changing the background colours.
2. The Donor Conception Network series
We like these books because they feature people rather than animals. As the words can’t be edited, the DCN have tried to create story versions to accommodate as many different family setups as possible. You select the version that looks most like your family.
This book by Kimberly Kluger-Bell is a basic and nice story introducing the flowers and the bees and the kind help from a donor. The book is focused on two mums but is also published in other variations.
4. I Dreamed of You, the story of an egg donor baby
Written by Lori Metz, this book is essentially a love story between parent and child and the journey many parents embark on to meet their babies.
The best children’s books about sperm donor
These books to help tell your child about a sperm donor are our top choice for hetero parents, two moms and single moms. As every word is editable, you can describe your donor as you choose – there are so many debates for example as to whether the word ‘kind’ is appropriate or not. Well with our books you are in control of the narrative. You can include any details you want to – we find that lots of parents include a brief description of the donor and some of the things they like to do.
2. The Donor Conception Network series
We like these books because they feature people rather than animals. As the words can’t be edited, the DCN have tried to create story versions to accommodate as many different family setups as possible. You select the version that looks most like your family.
This sperm donation story by Julie Marie is an easy-to-understand children’s book with illustrations about a bear family with a mum and dad who had an alternative route to parenthood.
The best children’s books to explain double donation or donor embryo
For any family type these books help you to talk to your child about either a double donation or an embryo donation. There is a default story which aims to reduce the amount of editing you need to do, but you then update this so your book is 100% your family’s story. You can explain as much or as little of your journey to conception as you wish. You can include as many details about the donor(s) as you wish.
2. The Donor Conception Network series
We like these books because they feature people rather than animals. As the words can’t be edited, the DCN have tried to create story versions to accommodate as many different family setups as possible. You select the version that looks most like your family.
3. Before You Were Born . . . My Wish For A Baby
This book by Janice Grimes tells the story of how a child came to be via IVF using donor sperm/egg or donor embryo. The wording is such that either scenario is represented.
The best books to tell your child about surrogacy
Whether you are a single dad, two dads, a traditional family or a single mum; whether you used a donor as well as a surrogate, or your own gametes – you can edit the story so it is YOUR family story. You can include photos of your surrogate and/or donor(s) if you wish. With minimal effort you are the author of your child’s personal book.
And, if you are a surrogate and want to tell your young child about what will be happening, My Magic Mom can be 100% edited so it is your family story. These books work equally well if you want help with telling your child that you previously acted as a surrogate. As with all our books, you can add any photos and narrative to enrich your story.
2. The Donor Conception Network series
We like these books because they feature people rather than animals. As the words can’t be edited, the DCN have tried to create story versions to accommodate as many different family setups as possible. You select the version that looks most like your family.
This surrogacy story by Kimberly Kluger-Bell provides an introduction to surrogacy through the simple story of a koala bear and her husband who needed the help of a very kind koala to carry their baby in her pouch.
Crystal A. Falk’s book tells a story of surrogacy from a young child’s perspective. From the back cover: Why is the sky blue? Why do dogs bark? When will I be tall? Where do babies come from? Kids ask a lot of questions. Some of them are easier to answer than others. Explaining why someone would choose to become a surrogate or why a family would choose a surrogate to help grow their family are even harder questions to answer. Sophia’s Broken Crayons can help you answer those questions.
A fabulous book to explain DNA to your child
This wonderful book by Rajani Larocca (Author) and Steven Salerno (Illustrator) explaining the concept of DNA, cells, and chromosomes manages to make a complex topic accessible to preschoolers. It includes sentences like “Each biological parent gave you half your chromosomes. And on those special forty-six, your genes all make their homes.” and “Your code came from those parents, and from their parents too. You might share genes with those you love or some you never knew.” We found it an extremely helpful tool for conversations with your donor conceived child.
There are so many books about donor conception these days to choose from. Pick a selection in the different styles and enjoy reading them to your child. In addition to the precious hours you will spend reading to your child, we hope you equally enjoy your time making your very own Magic of You story.